Trust the Ending. | When Letting Go Is Divine Alignment.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome back to another episode of With a Grain of Salt. I am your host, Isaiah Salter, and I appreciate each and every one of you for tuning in for yet another week. Another week, another with a grain of salt episode. This week is titled Trusting the Ending. When letting go is divine alignment. The reason I wanted to touch on the idea of trusting the ending is because leading up to removing from New York and you know ending that chapter of my life, there was a lot of questioning, there was a lot of uncertainty, and there still is. And a lot of times it can be very hard to trust the ending of certain chapters. Maybe because you're still clinging on to it, maybe because the next chapter isn't clear. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna provide some perspective and some awareness around the ending of things and carry this, you know, essence into our week, into the season that we are currently in. Whether you are navigating an ending or stepping into a new chapter, I feel like this episode will speak to all areas of those types of seasons. And yeah, I know it's something that has been very heavy on my heart. So without any further ado, it's good to be back. It's good to be with you. And let's dive in. Point number one: the ending isn't random, it's realignment. When something meaningful ends, our first instinct is to question it. Why did this happen? What did I do wrong? Could I have saved it? But what if the ending wasn't a mistake? What if it was alignment? Let's just stop right there. Every time you're going through a season or a period where you're having to end something, whether that's a relationship, an environment, uh, a certain way of living, something that can be incredibly helpful in those moments is to immediately shift into the perspective that this ending isn't because something is wrong, because I'm failing. It's actually alignment. And I know that with alignment, yes, I'm also I'm always gonna step into things, but I'm also gonna have to let go of things and be willing to end certain chapters because that is part of alignment. So whenever we're going through an ending chapter of our life, let us remind ourselves with this perspective. This is alignment. Everything that I have to experience, whether it's letting go, stepping into, is part of me aligning my life with the highest version of myself. And I have to be willing to move with that process. Not everything that feels good is meant to last forever. Some connections come into our life to awaken us, to show us certain parts of ourselves, to stretch our awareness and capacity, but not necessarily to stay forever. And we we and when we try to force permanence onto something that was seasonal, we suffer more than we need to. How often do we find ourselves trying to force permanence onto something that is supposed to be seasonal? And this is why understanding is so important. When you understand that life is cyclical, us as human beings, we move through different seasons, right? When you have that understanding, you're gonna be a lot more willing to allow things to come into your life and also be removed from your life, right? Because you understand I move in seasons. And some seasons mean I'm gonna step into certain things, and other seasons mean I'm gonna have to let go of certain things. And certain relationships or certain environments were not meant to come into my life forever. They were actually meant to be seasonal to teach me certain things to help stretch my awareness and capacity, to help understand certain things about life or relationships better, uh, to give me certain growth in certain areas that I wouldn't have been able to have if this person or this thing was not in my life. But after it served this purpose, sometimes that was it. It was just meant to be for that season. And we have to be willing to move with that cyclical nature of life. Because when you try to force permanence onto something that was supposed to be seasonal, that's what creates suffering, suffering. And why do we try to force permanence onto things? Because of attachments. We become emotionally attached to certain people, to certain environments, to certain ways of living. And when it's time for those things to move out of our life, we resist that letting go, right? Because we have that attachment. And this is the importance of understanding your attachments and doing the work to slowly let go of them, right? And how do you let go of an attachment in a simple way? It's first understanding where the attachment is coming from. It's coming from an emotional attachment. I'm attaching part of myself, part of my identity, part of my worth into this person and or into this thing. And that's what makes it so difficult to let go when it's that time because you don't just feel like you're letting go of this person, you feel like you're letting go of a part of yourself. Right. So you can have that fear that if I let go of this thing, I'm gonna lose myself. I'm not gonna know who I am, right? My identity was built on the foundation of having this thing or this person in my life. So letting go of it, ah, you know, but this is where perspective comes in, right? Awareness and intention, we take a step back, right? And we speak to ourselves in those moments. Nah, hey, certain things and certain people come into your life for seasons, and that was it. It wasn't meant to be lifelong, and I have to be willing to let go. I have to be willing to let go. And I have to remind myself that the more I hold on to what isn't for me, the more I prolong what is. You cannot have things come into your life with a closed fist. You have to be willing to open your hand and allow things to freely leave, but also to come in, right? But when we try to force permanence onto things that were meant to be seasonal, it creates a lot, a lot of internal and external suffering, right? Frustration, all of these things. So this is where perspective comes into play. There's a deeper intelligence to life. And sometimes things fall apart not because they failed, but because they fulfilled their purpose. Training wheels aren't a failed bicycle system. They're designed to become unnecessary. Their success, their success is actually measured by the moment you no longer need them. That's a beautiful analogy, right? Always when you're thinking of this idea of things coming into your life that were supposed to be seasonal, not permanent, think of training wheels, right? Training wheels are a vital part of learning how to ride a bike when you are a kid. But the goal is to not keep the training wheels on for the whole time. It's to eventually be able to ride the bike without the training wheels. So when it's that time, you have to be willing to let go of the training wheel so that you can step into the freedom of riding a bike without training wheels. Right. So once the training wheels have fulfilled their purpose, it's time to let them go. You can't keep holding on to it. And that's a great analogy to use for all areas of life. There's certain things that come into your life that were incredibly vital for your growth while they were in your life, but they were meant to come into your life to get you to a certain point. And once you've gotten to that certain point, it's time to step into something new and let go of that thing. And just because you're letting go of it doesn't mean it wasn't a blessing, doesn't mean you don't have gratitude for it. It just means it's fulfilled its purpose. It is fulfilled its purpose. So that's a great reminder for when you're navigating an ending. It says we often try to fix endings that are actually invitations to step into more alignment, invitations to grow, evolve, and to step into a version of ourselves that couldn't exist inside that environment or relationship. So often will also create so much disconnect and frustration in our journey is we try to cling on or fix endings that are actually invitations to step into something new, to step into more alignment, right? And a lot of times you have to remind yourself that there is a version of you that you can't grow into while you're holding on to these things that you need to let go of. Right. And that needs to be at the forefront of your mind. If I want to continue to step into who I was made to be, right? The best, most highest version of myself, I have to be willing to let go and trust the endings of things when it's that time. Because staying in an environment or staying in a relationship that is no longer serving you is actually inhibiting your ability to step into an even greater, more aligned version of yourself. Right. And that's the detriment that holding on can do. When we are holding on to all of these things, people, habits, environments that no longer serve us, we are literally creating a contraction, right? And it's not allowing us to expand into a more aligned version of ourselves. Because as human beings, as beautiful individual souls, part of the collective conscious, you were put here to constantly evolve. And with evolution comes change, and with change comes having to let go of certain things, people, or environments. So if we want to change, if we want to keep evolving, if we want to keep growing, because they all coincide, then we have to be willing to let go of certain things, even when it's incredibly painful, right? And this is perspective. Don't always correlate something being hard or painful with I'm not supposed to do it. Some of the greatest growth comes from some of the most painful moments. And you have to remind yourself of that. Pain does not mean the opposite of growth. A lot of times it's part of it. So we continue to take steps with that perspective. We continue to take steps with awareness, and we continue to step into more alignment, more authentic, higher versions of ourselves. And that's a blessing. And before we move on, just because you're stepping away from a certain version of yourself doesn't mean that that version of yourself wasn't beautiful, didn't have a lot of things that helped you to become the version of you that you are today or that you're stepping into. So we don't leave, you know, old things with resentment or hate or, you know, um shame. No, no, no. We leave with love and gratitude, understanding that hey, this version of us, this relationship, this environment has served its purpose. It helped me to grow. It helped me to cultivate more perspective, more depth, more capacity. And I'm grateful for that. But it's time to step away. It's time to turn the page and start a new chapter. One of my favorite quotes that I constantly remind myself of is sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together. Sometimes things have to fall apart so better things can fall into place. So when you're in seasons of your life where you feel like things are falling apart, relationships, environments, identities, don't get caught up in the idea that there's something wrong, that your life is falling apart. Maybe things are just falling into place in a way that you may not be able to understand in the moment, but this is where you take a step back, you cultivate the right perspective, you be with yourself, you be with yourself in those moments, and you continue to show up. And as you continue to do that, you're gonna see how things are gonna start falling into place in ways that you couldn't even imagine. But, but it only happened because you didn't resist the season where it felt like things were falling apart. Nah, you kept showing up for yourself, you kept taking steps. And I know it can be incredibly difficult. It's incredibly painful when things that you've been tied to, connected to, attached to for so long, familiar with for so long, start to fall apart. Right? It feels like an earthquake, right? And as we know, when when you're experiencing an earthquake, you know it can be incredibly scary and you go under the table and you're like, oh my gosh, this is horrible. But you have to remind yourself that this earthquake isn't different. This earthquake is actually alignment, right? Sometimes life has to shake up things in order for you to actually move into the place you're meant to be. So when things are being shaken up, when things are falling apart, let's not be so quick to resist that because it's actually resisting that that stops us from growing, that inhibits our ability to step into more beautiful blessings along the way. But sometimes in order to step into those blessings, you have to be willing to let what currently is fall apart, right? But through it all, be with yourself, through it all, cultivate the right perspective, and through it all continue to show up and take life with a grain of salt. Come on. An analogy for point number one. It's like trying to wear shoes you've outgrown. At one point they fit perfectly, but now they hurt. And no matter how much you try to make them work, they're not meant for your feet anymore, right? Imagine, right? We've talked about this analogy so many times, but imagine continuing to try to hold on to shoes that you've outgrown.

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Right?

SPEAKER_00 13:46

No, I gotta, I gotta fit my foot in here, man. These are my favorite pair of shoes. I have to. But that's not your size anymore. And I know that you feel deeply attached or connected to those shoes, but they serve their purpose. They were great when it was their time, but now you've outgrown them and it's time to step into something different. And the beautiful thing is a lot of times because we're so attached to the past or attached to what is, we're not able to see what could be clearly. But if you knew the things that you could step into, the things that were waiting for you around the corner from you letting go, you wouldn't be so quick to resist letting go. Right. But a lot of times our ego blocks our ability to see the beauty or the blessings of what could be because we're still tied to what is or what was. So you have to be able to take a step back, like we always say, cultivate that perspective, have a conversation with yourself. It is so important through all of these different things that we talk about, and we're gonna continue to talk about, it is so important to learn how to be with yourself. I'm gonna do an episode on this, but a lot of people are by themselves, not with themselves. And there's a big difference between being by yourself and being with yourself. And a lot of it has to do with intention, right? Are you intentional with the time you have when you're alone? Right. Or are you allowing all of your focus and energy to be stripped from you because you're focusing on all of these things outside of you, what they're doing, what they say, how far along they are. Oh my gosh, this is horrible, right? Focusing on all the lack, focusing on all the fear, right? And it's slowly disconnecting you from yourself because when you're focusing on all of these negative aspects of life, it's very hard to be at peace with yourself. And if you're not at peace with yourself, it's very hard to be with yourself. It's very hard to be with something you don't feel connected to, you don't feel at peace with, right? And that's how a lot of people are moving through life. Not liking the person that they are, focusing on all the things that they don't have, and then it just creates this very negative, limiting energy that they're trying to grow in. Imagine you're trying to grow, which is an expansive act, in a very limited energy. We got to open that up. And how do you open it up? It doesn't come from outside, it comes from within. And that is a blessing because that means it's always in your hands, it's always within you. You just have to be willing to tap into it. A practice for point number one. Ask yourself, right? Do this journaling prompt. What did this season, relationship, or experience teach me about myself? And what version of me could be emerging because this is ending? And allow yourself to think about different things, right? Allow yourself to write different scenarios and different ways that things could could be unfolding for your betterment, right? Allow yourself for that. Allow yourself to sit with the emotions that come with the ending of something. Allow yourself to do that because so often we're so quick to move past things that we don't actually process the things that we've experienced. And if you don't process the things that you've experienced, that stuff stays within you and it starts to seep into the new things that you're trying to cultivate, right? So if you want to be able to step into things and allow things to grow and manifest and cultivate in a very healthy and aligned way, you have to be willing to process what was so you're not carrying baggage into what is. Point number two, letting go is an act of strength, not weakness. Letting go is one of the most misunderstood things. People think it means giving up or that it reflects a lack of effort, right? And this idea of it means giving up or it reflects a lack of effort stems from ego, right? Ego will always view letting go as a bad thing because it doesn't want to let go. It wants to cling to what's known and what's familiar because that's what feels safe. So it's gonna bring up all of these different emotions and beliefs and thoughts to try to get you to not let go, right? And so when you are looking through the lens of the ego, you're gonna view letting go as a very, very negative thing. Oh, I'm giving up, right? Oh, I mean, um, it's a lack of ever. Oh, I'm weak. No, you're not. Letting go is one of the strongest things you can do. It takes an incredible amount of strength to let go of things that you were once so tied to. Because letting go is gonna challenge your comfort and attachments. Letting go, a lot of times, is gonna challenge your comfort and your attachments. And that's why it can feel like a threat to your ego. And this is why perspective is so important. Because if you are only living through the lens of the ego, then that's how you're gonna experience things. So when it's time to let go of something, you are going to resist letting go because you are viewing it as a threat. You are viewing it as a negative thing. But if you can separate from your ego, view yourself from the seat of the soul, and understand that letting go is one of the greatest acts of strength and trust. And letting go is what actually creates room for more alignment to come in. In those moments, you're gonna be a lot more willing to let go of things that no longer align, that have ran their course. Letting go is saying I trust that what's meant for me will stay, and what isn't, no matter how much I want it, has to go. And I trust that whatever's supposed to be in my life will be in my life. Whatever's meant to leave will leave. Right. And I'm gonna continue to show up for myself. Letting go is surrender. It's releasing control and accepting that you don't need to force what is truly aligned for you. If you feel like you have to force a relationship, force an environment, force something to stay into your life, you have to take a step back and ask yourself, do I feel like alignment would require me to force things to stay into my life? And a lot of times the answer is no, because alignment usually isn't going to ask you to force, it's gonna ask you to trust. And that's a very, very big difference. So if you feel like you're trying to force certain things in your life, that's usually an indication that you're not approaching those things from the energy of alignment. You're approaching those things from the energy of your ego, of attachment, feeling like I need this thing to be in my life. I cannot let go. If I let go of this thing, I'm letting go of myself. I'm losing myself. My identity is tied to this thing or this person, right? My life that I have built, I built with this thing in my life. So letting go of this thing, it's gonna shake up my foundation. And I don't want to experience that shakeup. But like we said earlier, sometimes life is going to shake you up, not because you're doing something wrong, but because things need to be rearranged, let go of, stepped into, right? Moved around. So remind yourself of that, my brothers and sisters. Remind yourself of that. And when we think about this idea of heartbreak, a lot of people only view heartbreak as, you know, the ending of an intimate relationship, right? Like the ending of a relationship with boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever it is. But heartbreak comes in a multitude of different ways. And heartbreak lingers because we're still gripping to the idea of what could have been, but healing begins when you loosen that grip and come back to what is, right? So go through that, go through those emotions and process what you need to process. But when you feel like the heartbreak is lingering longer than it should be, it's probably because you're still gripping on to the idea of what could have been. And because a lot of people are so fixated on what could have been, it strips them from accepting and embracing what is, right? And what is is all that you truly have. All that you have is the moment. So if you're constantly giving energy to things outside of the moment and it's taking you away from the thing that you do have. It's gonna create a lot of internal frustration because you're trying to get back to something that no longer exists. The only thing that exists is now. So we have to be willing to accept where we are. And acceptance does not mean giving up. Acceptance isn't saying, well, it is what it is. This is just my life. No, no, no. Acceptance is putting you into the state that allows you to actually move with intention, move with purpose. I'm gonna accept where I am so that I can work with myself in pursuit of where I'm going. Right? Acceptance does not mean despair. It does not mean giving up. So don't, don't get those confused because those are completely different things. But a lot of times the reason that we aren't able to really step into more alignment and more beauty that this life has for us is because we're still clinging on to the idea of what could have been. Man, if I would have just did this. Man, if I would have just been like that. Oh, what if it would have gone like this? That's a lot of energy you're giving to something that doesn't exist, right? Because where your focus goes, energy follows. So if you are focusing on things that could have been, you're not giving energy to what is. And what is is all that you have. So working with yourself is learning how to be in this moment, embrace where your feet are, and focusing on making the most out of the position that you are in. Always remember that holding on feels safer because it's familiar, not because it's aligned. A lot of times, holding on feels safer because it's familiar, not necessarily because it's alignment. And this is incredibly important to remember in those moments where you feel yourself clinging or holding on to something that you know deep down it's time to let go of. A lot of times the reason that we hold on is because holding on feels safer. But that doesn't mean it's alignment. It feels safer because it's familiar. And like we say, our ego clings to familiar territory. It clings to the known. It wants to know how everything is gonna work. It wants to be in its comfort zone, it wants to have that false sense of security that comes from being in a position where you know how everything's gonna work, right? But faith is gonna require you to let go of all of that because there's no such thing as living in the known, living in familiar territory and living in faith. Faith is literally gonna require you to step out of familiar territory into unfamiliar territory. But here's the beautiful thing about that: God works the most in the unknown. God works the most in the unknown. You never call something a miracle that you knew was gonna happen. It's when you take a leap of faith, you take that risk, and things unfold in ways that you could have never imagined. You're like, wow, man, this is amazing. You start to live so expansively, you start to be in love with life, right? You move through life with this childlike spirit. That doesn't come from staying in familiar territory, that doesn't come from staying in your comfort zone, right? That comes from taking these leaps of faith, being willing to step into the unknown, being willing to go into a territory that you haven't been before, even when you're scared, even when your ego is trying to pull you back. Hey, I'm gonna trust that where I'm being pulled to, I'm meant to be. And even though I can't see how things are gonna unfold, that's why I'm going to cultivate faith. And this is an important point I want to mention before we continue moving on. When your ego is trying to pull you back, right? This is a trap that a lot of people fall into. When your ego is clinging to familiar territory, trying to keep you in the same position, pull you from letting go or stepping into, a big mistake that a lot of people make is they get into a fight with their ego. And you have to understand the ego is a part of you. So if you are fighting the ego, you are fighting yourself. It is very hard to grow when you're constantly in a battle with yourself. So, what you have to remind yourself is view your ego as a little kid. Every time your ego is trying to pull you back because of fear or it's afraid to let go, separate yourself, move into the seat of the soul and speak to your ego in a compassionate way. That's how you cultivate self-love. Right? Hey, hey, I know you're afraid. I know you want to hold on. I know this unknown territory looks like a threat. But, but I promise you, things are gonna be okay. We just need to trust. Things are gonna work out in ways that you may not be able to understand right now. And through it all, I'm with you. That's a lot more sustainable and efficient when it comes to growing than every time you're trying to let go or step into something new and you feel the pullback from your ego, you get into this battle. Oh my gosh, why can't I let go? Why are you doing this to me? Uh, stop, stop, stop, stop. We don't need to be fighting ourselves. We don't need to be fighting ourselves. Let's not fight ourselves in the growth. Let's learn to love ourselves center growth. It says you don't need closure from something or someone outside of yourself to move forward. Closure comes from your own acceptance. This is so incredibly important. A lot of times, the reason that we haven't let go of something is because we're still searching or waiting for the closure. But closure is an inside job. Closure is on you. And closure is something you give to yourself to move forward. It's not something you wait to get from something outside of you. It's something you give to yourself. And how do you give it to yourself? Acceptance. I'm accepting what was, and I'm accepting what is. I'm accepting what was served as purpose and it no longer aligns, and that I'm letting it go, and I'm also accepting where I am so that I can work with myself, right? Give yourself that closure. Give yourself that closure. Right. And I know that a lot of the a lot of times we're searching for closure from people, right? I've been there so many times where I'm waiting for this person to reach out to me or to give me the closure that I am clinging to internally. And it will leave you just feeling so out of balance every single day because you're waiting for something that can only come from you. Right. Sometimes, sometimes people will, you know, reach out and provide that closure. I love to do that for people, you know, genuinely, because I know how much it means to me when it when somebody does that to me. But I don't bank on it. You know what I mean? I don't bank on, oh my gosh, I have to get this closure to feel, you know, fine, to feel at peace. Nah, I'm gonna give myself that closure. And then if this person or this thing provides that, that's just added. But with with or without it, we're good. With or without it, we're good. It says surrender is not the absence of effort, but the absence of resistance. Surrender is not the absence of effort, but the absence of resistance. That is so beautiful. Yes, you still have to put in effort to live in alignment, to live an authentic life, right? But you want to be in this, in this posture of surrender where you're not resisting life. You're not resisting the seasons you're in, right? Surrendering is saying, hey, I trust that where I am is where I'm supposed to be, even if it doesn't feel the best, even if my ego's like, I don't want to be here, I'm trusting where I am, and I'm gonna put in effort in the things that I can't control and make sure that I'm showing up to the best of my abilities and I'm surrendering control to the things outside of my control. Because I know that if I keep showing up for myself, moving with intention, cultivating the right energy within myself, the things that are meant to be will be. I don't need to force it, I don't need to resist, I don't need to fight. I just need to trust. Effort, aligned effort, and trust. Aligned effort and trust. An analogy for point number two. Think about holding a bird in your hands. If you squeeze tightly because you're afraid it will fly away, you'll actually hurt it or kill it. But if you open your hands, it now has the freedom to stay or the freedom to fly. And that's the difficult part of letting go. Giving something enough freedom to choose you without trying to force it to stay. Oof, that is so good. We have to be willing to give things and people the freedom to either be in our lives or to leave as they please. Right? Now, there's certain situations where, yes, you have to understand that this person is no longer for me. But a lot of times people try to force people to stay in their lives. And that forceful energy is like trying to hold a bird with a closed fist, right? And all it does is hurt it or eventually kill it. You have to open your hand and trust that, hey, whatever's meant to be in my life will be. And whatever's not, I'm opening myself up so that it has the freedom to leave. Because I don't want to cling on to anything that is not meant for me in the season that I'm in, right? And this is all about perspective. This is why perspective is so important. This is why self-dialogue is so important. This is why learning to be with yourself is so important. This is why this space that we've cultivated here on the With a Grain of Salt podcast is so important because we want to constantly be reminding ourselves of these things when we go through these inevitable parts of life. A practice for point number two. Try this simple release. Sit quietly and take a few deep breaths. Say out loud or in your head, I release what is no longer aligned with me. Visualize yourself loosening your grip on that person, that story, that environment, that expectation, or whatever it is, and embody letting go. Do this daily, especially when thoughts of them or the environment come up. Right? This is incredibly important. Give yourself the space to let go. A lot of us struggle with letting go because we don't give ourselves the space to let go. Sometimes you have to take a step back, take a few deep breaths, right? Say to yourself, I release when no longer alight. Just doing that brought a sense of calmness into my spirit. I love it. I love it. Point number three. What leaves create space for what's truly meant for you. One of the hardest truths to accept is that you can't receive what's meant for you if you're still holding on to what isn't. Life works in seasons, and just like trees shed leaves, we're meant to release people patterns and versions of ourselves that no longer align with who we're becoming. Not as punishment, but as alignment and preparation. A lot of times when we are shedding certain parts of ourselves, it can feel like punishment, right? Man, I'm losing people. I'm losing identities, I'm losing certain thought patterns, and it can feel like punishment. Why is this happening to me? But a lot of times, it's not punishment. Most of the times, it's not punishment. It's preparation. It's just preparing you to step into more alignment. It's preparing you to step into a newer, more authentic version of yourself. And we have to be willing to go through that phase where things are falling apart, where things are being shaken up, where it feels like life is punishing us because people are being removed from our life, environments are being removed from our life, identities and habits are being removed from our life, and it feels incredibly difficult. But this is where you take a step back and you cultivate perspective in that in that moment. I am not being punished. I'm being prepared. What are you being prepared for? More alignment, more authentic living, more beautiful blessings, more beautiful relationships, more amazing opportunities and environments. So I'm going to continue to show up with for myself through this time and understand that this preparation is temporary. It's just preparing me till I get to that point where I can step into these things that I'm being prepared for. And once you're in them, you're not going to have no regrets. You ain't going to be, you ain't going to be talking about I wish I was back there, or I wish I never let go of that thing. Because where you are is so beautiful. It's so expansive. You're actually going to be grateful that those things, identities, environments, relationships were removed from your life. And that's a beautiful thing to remind yourself. Not as punishment, but as preparation. Because the things you're stepping into requires a different version of you, a more grounded you, a more self-aware you, a more whole you. And sometimes that can't happen if certain things or people are still in your life. I learned this the hard way, man. It's so true. A lot of times we're not able to step into the versions of ourselves that we're being called to because there is still certain people or things in our life. And that is why letting go is so important. A lot of times, in order to step into who you're supposed to be in this season, it's going to require you to step away from certain things that you've been tied to or attached to for so long. And that can be incredibly difficult. But we understand that stepping away is what's giving me the ability to step into. And I want to step into more alignment. I want to step into more blessings. I want to step into more of who I was made to be, right? Because that's a beautiful thing. So I'm going to be with myself and I'm and I'm going to remind myself that I'm not going to be able to step into that version of me if I'm still holding on or around certain things and environments. Right. This is why changing your environment could be so profound, right? If you've grown up in your hometown your whole life, when you get out of that and you're exposed to new things, new people, new environments, that thing, that experience can open you up fully. Right. You're getting feedback from life that you never even knew was possible. You're getting shown aspects of yourself that you weren't able to see in the old environment, in the old relationship. Right? And a lot of people are trying to grow while still holding on to things that do not serve them. And you can't do both. You have to make a choice. You have to make a choice. And always remember usually the hardest decisions to make lead to the most growth. Right. So when you're being pulled to step into a newer version of yourself, and that's requiring you to let go of certain people or things, and it's really difficult to let go, remind yourself the reason that this is so difficult to do is because on the other side of this decision is so much abundance, so much uh beauty. And I have to be willing to make those decisions and choices. It says you're not starting over, you're starting from experience. Everything you learned is coming with you into what's next. This is so true. A lot of times when we have to step away from what was, it can feel like we're starting over. You're not starting over, you're starting from experience. And that's a totally different thing. Everything you've learned, everything you've experienced, every all of the growth and the wisdom that you've gained from previous seasons, environments, and relationships, you get to carry into the next thing. So you're not starting from ground zero, you're starting from ground experience, ground wisdom. And that's a beautiful thing to remind yourself of, right? Yeah, I may be starting over in the sense of a new environment, cultivating new relationships, but I'm a totally different person. Right. So this isn't the same as when I had to do this before. This is totally different. I'm more aligned, I'm more grounded, I'm more clear on who I am. So that's what I'm bringing into this new season. I'm excited to see what this version of me can cultivate in this new season. Get excited, my brothers and sisters. Get excited because there is so much for you. As I prep for my move to Florida, right? Because I'm currently in North Carolina, as I said in my previous episode, man, me and my mom keep talking, and she keeps telling me there is so much opportunity and blessings and expansion that is waiting for you here in this new environment. And we can't wait to see. And I'm excited, even though I have a little bit of fear and I have a little bit of or a lot of questioning around what this next chapter holds, I'm excited. I'm excited to see what this new version of me can cultivate, right? The essence is still the same. You're still you. It's not like when we talk about stepping into newer versions of yourself, this doesn't mean that the essence of who you are changes. It means your perspective changes, relationships change, how you show up changes, right? But you're still you. You know, that's why I've I've I've kind of gotten away from this idea of like killing off past versions of yourself because I feel like every version of us served a purpose in leading us to where we are now, right? So I look at past versions of myself with gratitude. Even the versions of myself that do not align with who I am today. You know, there were certain seasons of my life where I was doing things that genuinely did not align with who I am now. But I don't look back at that version of me with shame or resentment. No, I understand that that version of me was doing what he felt he could do or what he felt was right in that moment with what he had available to him. But now that I know better and now that I have a clearer perspective, I'm able to make newer decisions. But I'm not gonna look back from shame or regret or judgment. Nah. Uh-uh. Mm-mm. Because I understand that every season serves a purpose. Every season is part of the journey, right? Every chapter is part of the totality of your book. Come on. And a lot of times, the space that we fill when we have to let go of things, that emptiness, right? Sometimes we can feel empty because we're emptying ourselves of all of these things that we've been tied to. That space, a lot of times, we try to fill very quick. But sometimes you just need to sit there. You don't need to rush to fill it, right? Because that space is for something more deeper, more aligned, more true to who you are. And we have to give that space time to develop, right? Time to cultivate. And it's also a great place to be for self-reflection, right? When you're stepping away from all of these things that you've been tied to, and now you're a little bit more isolated, a little bit more alone as you're trying to navigate this new environment or this new chapter of your life. Give yourself time to just be, right? Reflect, process, sit with yourself, right? Those seasons, those moments are so vital. And this is how we can start to view everything that we go through as an opportunity. There's an opportunity in everything that we experience. And when you have that perspective, it's gonna help you to not resist certain things and attach to other things. Nah, I understand that everything that I experience, everything that I go through, every chapter of my book is an opportunity. It holds opportunities in it. So everything that I step into, I'm gonna have the mindset that there's an opportunity for me in this. When I'm feeling like I'm in a season of isolation and solitude, there's an opportunity for me in it. When I'm going through a season of expansion and community, there's an opportunity for me in it. When I'm going through a season where I'm needing to let go of certain relationships or certain environments or certain identities, there's an opportunity for me in it. When I'm going through a season where things are incredibly difficult and I feel like things are just coming at me from all angles, and it's really hard to wake up every single day. There's an opportunity for me in it. There is an opportunity for you in everything. And with that perspective, you're gonna be able to grow through everything that you go through. Come on. The right things will find you when you make space for them. The right things will find you when you make space for them. How often are we trying to find the right things without providing the space for those things that come into our life? I'm gonna keep holding on to all of these attachments, all of these old ways of thinking, all of these limiting beliefs, all of these relationships, while wanting new things to come into my life. While wanting the right things to fire me. A lot of times the right things can't find you because there's no space. It's not even about finding. They've the right things are. Literally on the other side of you letting go. That is it. We're so quick to try to find things, to try to force answers, to try to find clarity. But it's really not even about finding. It's just about providing the space for these things to come in. They're right around the corner. They're right around the corner. You just got to be willing to let go. You just got to be willing to move with the season of life that you are in. And you can do this, my brothers and sisters, with a grain of salt one day at a time. Let's get it. And let me know if y'all like the new setup, man. I I'm back at my home in North Carolina for a little bit. So I wanted to see what a good setup would be like to bring to Florida. And I like this. I got this desk off Facebook Marketplace. So tap into Facebook Marketplace if you are not. Because I was on Amazon and these desk prices were kind of wild. And I'm like, you know what? Before I'm so quick to buy the most expensive, nicest desk, let me just go on Facebook Marketplace. Within the hour, I found this desk and it is beautiful. It was literally in perfect condition. It folds. I'm like, yo, come on, man. And that's a beautiful reminder that sometimes you're just looking in the wrong place. I love this life, man. Sometimes you're just looking in the wrong place. It's not that you lack clarity. It's not that the answers aren't there. It's just that we're we're not looking in the right places.

unknown 45:24

Right?

SPEAKER_00 45:25

So sometimes we got to take a step back and ask, wait, where am I, where am I trying to find clarity? Because that might be the issue. I'm trying to find clarity in a place where that ain't where the answers are. I'm looking in the wrong place, man. You know what I mean? I'm going to, I'm trying to find, I'm trying to find uh uh, how can I use? I'm gonna come up with an example right now. Like, I'm trying to find an iPhone in a Samsung store. Oh, I see phone stores, so I'm just I just walk in there and I'm like trying to force myself or trying to force an iPhone to pop into an environment. And I'm frustrated that I cannot find an iPhone in the Samsung store, not realizing you're literally looking in the wrong place. It's not that the iPhone isn't there, it's not that you're you're you're you're inequipped to find the iPhone, it's just you're simply looking in the wrong place. So take a full step back out of the store and look at the the title of the store. Oh my gosh, I'm in the Samsung store. Maybe I should go to the Apple store. And when you go into the Apple store, guess what's there? iPhones. Wow. So the iPhone was there the whole time. I was simply just looking in the wrong place. So before you're quick to say, ah, the answers aren't there, or I'm struggling so bad to find clarity, take a step back and ask, where am I trying to find clarity? Where am I trying to find the answers? Because that may be the issue. That may be the issue. A practice for point number three is create space intentionally in your life. Rearrange your room. Change your routine, right? Sometimes, if you can't, you know, get out of a certain environment, maybe you're just that's just where you are right now, right? Like some people, you just can't change your environment just because of where you are, whether it's school or you know, just the dynamic of where you are, create space intentionally. Let me know what let me try to shift my routine, let me change my room around. Because when when you start to, this is so important to understand. With environments, we create mental and emotional connections to everything in our environment. So if I have an environment where I'm used to doing certain things in this environment and now I want to show up differently in the same environment, it's gonna be very hard because you're constantly gonna be being pulled into the version of you that is familiar in this car in this environment. So sometimes, right, like if your room has always been a place where you doom scroll or you just everything's everywhere and you're just not, you know, intentional. You know what? Let me take a full step back and rearrange my whole room. Now, coming into this room, things are in different places, things look different. So now I feel a little bit more refreshed. You know what? Let me try to implement a new routine here. Whatever it may be. Change your routine. You know, I've been doing the same things every single day. Things just feel a little dull. Let me take a full step back, look at my whole day, and try a different routine. Let me move this here, maybe go to the gym a different time, maybe shift that action, maybe implement this, right? Create space intentionally. Create space intentionally. Let me look at, you know, my relationships in my life. Maybe I can't leave my environment, but let me see how I can shift the dynamic of certain relationships because I don't like the current dynamic of how these things are, right? Create space intentionally, right? When you feel that shift internally, reflect that in your external reality. Shift how you're showing up, shift how you view things, shift your environment, right? It's so important. And a lot of times the reason we don't do that is because we fall susceptible to the environment. And we just we are waiting for something outside of ourselves to change before we change. And that's a very tough place to be in because if you're waiting for things outside of yourself to change before you change, that is literally what being a victim to life is. I can't grow until this. I can't be this version of me until I have this. I won't be able to do the things I want to do until this changes, right? And you're constantly giving your power away to the world, giving your power away to the external. You got to take your power back and start to live with intention and start to make choices that align with the life that you want to live in the version of you that you want to cultivate. Come on. And point number four the last point of the day. And I think this is very fitting to end every ending is a new beginning. We often look at endings as if they're the final page, when really they're often the first page of something we haven't experienced yet. An ending closes one door, but it also gives you the freedom to walk toward another. The hard part is that we usually want to know what the new beginning will look like before we're willing to accept the ending. How true is that? But sometimes you have to leave the old chapter before you can discover the new one. The hard part is that we usually want to know what the next chapter will look like before we're willing to accept the ending of this current chapter. And that's where a lot of people get in trouble. But you have to understand that I have to be willing to leave the old chapter in order to discover the new one because it's the ending of one chapter that activates the new chapter, right? When I'm writing a book and I have finished this chapter, the only way that I can get to the next chapter is ending that chapter and then turning the page. But if I'm resisting ending the chapter or I'm resisting turning the page, guess what? I can't step into the new chapter. I need to know how everything's gonna work first before I turn the page. No, you don't. You just need to trust and turn the page. And then when you turn the page, that's where the clarity will find you. But a lot of people want the clarity before they turn the page, but clarity is on the other page. So remind yourself of that. But I love that. You have to be willing to leave the old chapter so that the new one you could step into. A new beginning doesn't always look exciting at first. Sometimes it looks like an empty calendar, an unfamiliar routine, being alone or simply not knowing what's next. But that uncertainty isn't a void. It can be a possibility with the right perspective. A lot of times when we are stepping into something new, right, and things aren't as much as they were, right? Like when you a lot of times too, like when you've grown up in a toxic environment, and you finally step into something that is a little bit more calm, a little bit more peaceful, bro, we can start to tweak out and think something's wrong because you're not conditioned or used to that. But you have to take a step back, cultivate the right perspective, and remind yourself that hold up, like I'm just conditioned to a certain way of living. So my nervous system has to get used to this calmness, to me not doing as much. And I have to be with myself through it. But a lot of times a new beginning doesn't always look exciting. You know, it's just it's dull. You just gotta be with yourself. Sometimes it's lonely, sometimes it's an unfamiliar routine. Sometimes, you know, it's just it's a it's a blank calendar. There's nothing wrong with that. You just gotta be with yourself and understand that wait, wait, what does this mean? What is what does this mean that there's not as much going on? What does that mean, y'all? That means there's opportunity and possibility. That means there's opportunity and possibility. Come on. Opportunity and possibility. It says an ending doesn't erase what came before it. Everything you've experienced becomes part of the foundation you're now building from. So true, right? And this is why we have to lead with love and leave with love. Lead with gratitude and leave with gratitude, right? Because everything that we've experienced is part of the foundation that we're continuing to build from, right? So when you're stepping into new places, new environments, new seasons, new versions of yourself, you're not building from nothing. You're building from the foundation of everything that you've experienced, all the lessons, all the growth, all the relationships, all the different versions of you, right? That's a blessing because that's what creates a very strong foundation. You know? That's what creates a very strong foundation. It says you don't need to immediately replace what you lost. Sometimes the most beautiful beginnings come when you allow yourself to sit in the space between chapters and become curious about what's next instead of rushing to fill the space. And a lot of the reason that we rush to fill the space is because we've never lived without these things, right? Prime example, how often do we see people leaving one relationship and then immediately getting to into another one? They never, they never give themselves space to just be by themselves. Why? Because being by themselves doesn't feel comfortable. It doesn't feel safe to their nervous system, right? Because I've always been with somebody, I've always been attached to somebody, I've always been in a relationship. So I don't even know how to operate outside of a relationship. And because you don't know how to operate outside of a relationship, your ego views that as a negative thing or something to run from. But what if you started to embrace that space? Even though it's unknown, even though it's new, even though it's scary, I have to give myself space to be where my feet are, to be in this new territory that I'm not comfortable with and see what this has for me. Because if I keep trying to fill this space, I'm gonna keep stepping into things that do not align because I'm rushing. Right? Alignment is not coming from rushing. Alignment comes from giving yourself the space for things to find you. Patience, right? Presence. We don't need to rush. Right? The ending of a relationship, the ending of an environment, the ending of, you know, routines. We don't need to rush to fill it. Give yourself time to just be and grieve what was and reflect. And when things, when you're alone and it feels uncomfortable, that should be an indication that you need to sit in that time more. You need to be with yourself alone a little bit more. Some people are so uncomfortable with themselves that they would rather stay in a toxic environment or a toxic relationship than being alone. But the more you neglect solitude, the more you are neglecting the relationship with yourself because solitude is one of the greatest places where you can develop the relationship with yourself because you have stepped away from all of the noise, right? You're not constantly around people. You have a lot more you time. So now you can really focus on you. Who do I want to be? What is the life that I want to live? What are the type of relationships that I want to involve myself with? What is the type of work that I really want to do? Solitude gives you the space to actually ask these questions and then sit with them to find the answers. But when you're constantly around people, constantly doing things, constantly moving at a million miles per hour, we never are giving ourselves the space to just be with ourselves. And then we wonder why we lack clarity. A lot of the clarity comes when you are able to step away from things and create the space for clarity to arise. The clarity is there. You just have to create the environment for clarity to come up. Right now, a lot of people are fighting for clarity while literally cultivating a life that rejects clarity. So we have to be mindful of that. We have to be mindful of the life that we are cultivating. And we have to be mindful of the perspective that we have on certain things. Solitude is not something to run from, it is something to lean into. Solitude is what gives you the space to connect very, very deeply with yourself, to connect very, very deeply with source. Solitude gives you the space to cultivate stillness. Solitude gives you the space to actually hear your own voice. So when your ego is trying to resist solitude because it's not known, it's not comfortable, reflect on what you know to be true about solitude, cultivate the right perspective, and step into it with the open mind. Even though it's difficult, even though there's gonna be times where you feel like you can't do it, keep showing up for yourself. A quote every ending is a new beginning. Sometimes we just don't know it at the time. Right? Sometimes we just forget that every ending is a new beginning. So we're so fixating on this thing, on this thing ending, that we're not even realizing that, bro, you're also stepping into a new beginning. Don't just focus on the ending all the time, that you forget that every ending is a new beginning. Right? A lot of times we're focusing on what we're losing, not what we're stepping into. And by stepping into, I don't or focusing on what you're stepping into, I don't mean knowing what the next chapter holds. I'm just saying, like knowing that I'm stepping into a new season, that means new opportunities, new growth, new relationships, new blessings. That's a beautiful thing to remind yourself of. Right? That's a beautiful thing to remind yourself of. The analogy for point number four was uh the book analogy, right? It's like turning a page in a book. When you finish a chapter, the story isn't over. You simply have to let go of the page you're on to start the new one. That's if you're writing a book. But if you're reading a book, you have to literally let go, you have to literally be willing to end the chapter and turn the new one, turn the page in order to start the new one. Right? Imagine staying on chapter one and being mad that you won't you don't know the whole story. Bro, you're not willing to end that chapter and start the new one. That's why you aren't able to actually continue on the journey and understand the whole story is because you're clinging to chapter one or you're clinging to chapter four. Mm-mm. We can't do that. And I get it because some chapters are more desirable than others, some chapters feel better than others. So our ego is always gonna cling to what feels good and resist what doesn't. So certain chapters we become attached to, right? And then other chapters we constantly resist. But when you understand that it's inevitable, right? If you want to get through the book, you're gonna have to be willing to embrace all the chapters in the book. And you understand that every chapter serves a purpose, and you understand the chapters that you're so willing to or you're so quick to resist actually probably hold the most growth. Well, you're gonna start moving through life where you stop fighting chapters and you stop attaching to other chapters. I'm just gonna embrace what is with an open mind. I'm gonna embrace what is with the right perspective, and I'm gonna keep showing up every single day so that I can grow through what I go through. Come on, my brothers and sisters. A practice for point number four. Ask yourself, what am I being given the opportunity to begin now, now that this thing is ending? If I wasn't afraid of the unknown, what would I explore next? Right that's such a beautiful practice. What am I being given the opportunity to begin now because this thing or this chapter has ended in my life? Sit with that for a little bit. What am I being given the opportunity to begin now? Those are the type of questions you want to ask when you are stepping away from one chapter in that little middle ground trying to figure out this next chapter. Ask that question. When am I being given the opportunity to begin now that I couldn't have in previous chapters? Then choose one small action that represents your new beginning, something that moves you forward instead of pulls you back. A lot of people are so fixated on the past that that's where they stay stuck. Because where your focus goes, energy follows. So if all of your energy is being put in the past, that's where you're gonna be pulled. So be mindful of that. Be mindful of that, my brothers and sisters. That is the end of today's episode. Trust the ending, trust the ending of the chapter. Be excited for what's to come, be grateful for what was, and embrace what is. So I appreciate each and every one of you. I love each and every one of you. And remember, most importantly, to take everything with a grain of salt. I will see you guys in the next episode. Deuses.